Rumblings of a Wealthy Missionary….

(I realize I am breaking every “good blogging” rule…too long and too deep…sorry!)

It feels like there is so much to say about our trip to Cambodia…we arrived at the Thailand/Cambodian border last night and the taxi driver said our trip here to the missionary “resort”  would only be 5 hours, which ended up being more like 7 and a half.  When there is a buck to be made, what’s an hour or two?

There have been so many thoughts that have swirled around my head…things I’d love to share, much like anyone who is still pretty new to a very impoverished country feels.  Don’t get me wrong…we stayed at a beautiful hotel (our Cadence missionary who is Cambodian found us a hotel for only $40 a night that normally costs over $100)…we were not all that inconvenienced.  We rode around in a tuk-tuk and were greeted at both orphanages we went to visit with cheers like we were royalty.  We were hugged till they couldn’t touch us any longer and the kids ran after us for one last glimpse.  In a week where the Royal Wedding took place, I couldn’t help but feel a sliver of the responsibility and awkwardness of people loving you for reasons outside of the typical western mindset.

For instance, these children see us as their lifeblood…they consider us their earthly provision from the Heavenly Father.  We are the hands they can hold and the bodies they can thank for what they have, and they don’t stop the whole time!  (What is ironic, is that it is mostly you people who are reading this that are their lifeblood!)

Our kids did amazing…honestly better than I ever thought they would do…some of you know that they can be rather snobby….and they made fast connections and played with the orphans like true friends.  Megan, who can be interminably shy, was unable to resist the friendliness of Cambodians…they love the baby of the family and everywhere we went (even shops), they would grab her hand and kiss her face.  Even her, the stoutest personality of all, caved to the kindness of the Cambodian people.  They would not take no for an answer.

It’s hard to communicate what was going on in our hearts…it is difficult to see such poverty, though the orphans are thriving, in a third-world-country kind of way.  They eat at every meal, they are loved and cared for…they are taught about Jesus and they are trusting in Him.

I walked into the Orphanage and my Home-Depot-Renovation-mind took over…alert, alert…a westerner is here and ready to “fix” everything.  There is no mattress on any bed, but there are wooden beds (that sleep 3 or 4 in each) and there is not ONE chair to be found.  No table to eat on, no kitchen counter and the knives were like cutting with a pencil.  (I couldn’t help myself…I went right out and bought good ones…if they are cutting up chickens, they need good knives!)  For awhile I let my mind go and think of what I would “do” to add comfort and ease to their life.  I think that sometimes Christians reject these two things, place a horrible connotation on them, and the reality is, they can be awful…they can dissolve the soul, but they can ease a burden and restore as well.  I think this is the tension that I feel so much here.  Is it right for me to enjoy the pleasures of our life (air conditioning, cars, food) as much as I do?  The answer can be a resounding YES!  And yet, by itself, without being tethered to a heart of compassion and pouring out our hope and resources as God asks, it turns into a western, comfy religion.  It made me pray more than anything else:

1.     Lord, Help me to hear your voice and what You want from me.

And

2.     Lord, give me the faith and strength to do what you ask of me.

Because quite honestly, I’m good at living in extremes…I sometimes thing I would rather completely ignore poverty or not have anything nice so I can’t be accused of living the luxurious Christian life.  I might be wrong, but I don’t think that is the point.  Like so many other things, it seems that Jesus asks us to “thread the needle”, to enjoy gifts while being willing to forsake them in an instant for the Giver.  To delight in beauty and make more of it for others who don’t know it or see it.  To have so you can rejoice in giving.  This I find to be a harder tension than “all in” or “all out”.  And more than anything, it’s about knowing what God is asking each of us, not what others are doing or giving or sacrificing.

There’s no right answer other than getting on board with what God has for us…no matter what.  Some of you think we are on the cutting edge and sacrificing and yet we feel full and ridiculously cared for.   We are loved and prayed for, we are held up around the world to spill out your hearts and your resources…and because of this, we are more full than we have ever been.