Last night at our Cadence meeting, I felt utterly loved and cared for because Sandra appeased my writing utensil fetish. As the pencils were passed around, they were sharpened to the finest point possible. When it comes to writing – a sharp pencil can cause me to glance at my Precision v5 Pilot with an “I-never-knew-you” look. It made me start thinking about how crisp and clean a sharp pencil writes – it handles your every move and shades exactly right….until it goes dull – at which point, I submit it to the grind of razors and slough off everything about it that I so recently loved.
Pencils are funny like that, and now you know how very snobby I am when it comes to writing utensils…Many of you (Kristen) have also been very snobby about my lack of blogging. Grooves are hard to find at times, and though we have definitely found one here, what has been difficult is actually writing about it. And here’s why: the stuff that is so magically delicious to our soul right now just can’t be put on a blog. We have been blessed with unbelievable influential interactions, but nobody has said, “Hey – put that on your blog!”…we have been privy to amazing justice in the human trafficking world that cannot be broadcast on the Internet…Buddy has been stricken with parasites and though the details of that are partially humorous – most of you would prefer less, rather than more, information! And hence, the months of silence. I’m struck by how much you – our supporters and friends – must choose to trust us in these silent times…and it has made me so very grateful. Please know that our silence does not mean that our hearts are far away, they are just quiet (which is usually rare for Rathmells, I understand!)
Last tidbit, this morning I woke up early and thought “Am I sick?”, “Can I get up now?”, “Did I sleep enough?” and I realized another thing happening in this house – Buddy’s constant attentiveness to his body is impacting me – No, I’m not sick, yes, I can get up and yes, I did sleep enough. As I thought more clearly, I began to realize that I’m asking questions that don’t even pertain to me, but because they have been the focal point of my sweet husband’s life for 2.5 months, I am taking them on as mine. Funny how that happens. It is so very easy to take on something that isn’t mine when you are in the throes of a situation – a fine line between being one with Buddy and yet understanding that I am not the one with parasites!
Solomon said it best – people can sharpen each other and people can be dulled by each other – our interactions can cause us to be sharp like my dearly loved pencil or just the opposite. Never, ever, underestimate the power of influence – good or bad.
We find ourselves so grateful for your sharpening love and prayers on our behalf.
We love you!
Jen & Buddy