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Contentment is a tricky thing….

Posted by on June 27, 2011

Been musing all day…now that we have a dryer, a large portion of my mind is freed up from wondering how my family’s clothes will get dry.  At least now I can turn my attention to those worms Adrianne can’t seem to get rid of…. 🙂

But really…been thinking because yesterday church ruined me.  It ruined me because there’s a house for rent next to the Hambrice’s, where we had church.  It seems like such a great house…great rent, big, convenient..only have to put in a kitchen (which to me sounds like another plus because I like doing that kind of thing…) so yes…what a great house for rent.  Problem is…we live in a great house.

Some say it’s one of the prettiest houses in the neighborhood.  You see that I have a problem….I never thought that discontentment could cut both ways.  I guess having lived in a 1000 sq. ft apartment in Japan made me think that discontentment was a one way street…”If only I had more room, a yard, garage…”…that kind of thing plagues you when you live on a little island.  But now…I think….I love that house…it doesn’t have a yard, no lawn or fish pond to deal with…simple, clean cut, not so much of a jungle to get through to go home.  Seriously…I’m coveting a smaller, cheaper house and I would love to say it’s because I took the book Radical and it has infused every fiber of my being.  But that wouldn’t be true.  It’s not because I think our house is too beautiful for a missionary…I don’t believe that line of thinking.  I’ve been flirting with that house for the last day.

The truth is, I want what I don’t have.  I am annoyed by the jungle/nature/fish pond (that Buddy loves, by the way)…I am not thinking about how moving might help the kingdom of God, I’m thinking about how it will make my life easier.  God used my friend Melissa last night to lovingly laugh at me and say, ‘You have such a great house!”, and the Spirit of God translated it to: “Yeah, you idiot…I can’t believe we have to go here”.  But He did and I am rebuked by His love for me and I am ashamed of my ability to complain about even the good things God has given me…even the most beautiful and wonderful, lavish and exquisite…I can find the speck of discontentment and run with it.

This contentment thing really is tricky…but the process of finding rest in our soul in exactly what God has given us is one of the best journey’s out there.  I know that today…it was for me.

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