I’ll never forget where I was. A beautiful beach in Okinawa and my friend Candy suggested: “Don’t you think you just have a lot more energy than most people?” I remember being shocked…the thought had never occurred to me. That day I realized that maybe the reason that Jack has woken up at 5:30 a.m. is because the apple didn’t fall so far from the tree…(along with an asundry of other problems that result from having too much energy)
This revelation of high-energy comes with baggage. Western cultures place an exaggerated worth on such an attribute. The big news is..that high-energy can be just as much a problem as any other exaggerated characteristic. Too much patience can turn into passivity. Too much kindness can become patronizing. Too much hope can turn into fantasy. Too much of anything can weigh down a soul when not scrutinized at a motive level. At my worst, high-energy often looks like “Oblivious to others, myself, and anything else moving slowly.”
And thus – I’ve been finding myself under the exacting knife of motive assessment. Without being enrolled in school full time, my energy tank is just a wee bit too high…feeling like I need more…asking God if what I’m feeling is dissatisfaction. I just haven’t had this time/energy option available the last 3.5 years. There was always something to do or think about and it kept my exaggerated energy on a nice even keel.
Today at church we sang about surrender and I wondered to the Lord, “What does it look like for a ball of energy to fully be surrendered while prayerfully seeking avenues to serve You and please You with the energy/gifts/talents You’ve given me?” I’m not sure I know the answer…well-meaning folks tell people like me to just “rest, be still” and all that kind of mumbo-jumbo that makes me want to bite their head off (in a godly, missionary kind of way). The reason it doesn’t sit well with me is because of something Buddy once said: “Your idea of taking a Sabbath is re-tiling a bathroom”. And it’s true, so telling me to rest on the couch makes me want to scream!
Resting in the Lord does not have to imply inaction. What’s crazy for us “action” people is that sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. These are the ramblings in my heart today…not a lot of conclusions, but I’m blessed to consider these things in light of the Gospel and His grace, so in that – I find myself rather satisfied!
High energy at its best, might look like a very fun Fall Festival we threw at our house last night! The Rathmell’s 2nd Annual Fall Festival (aided and abetted by our Cadence DTS Team that rocked the house)….was a giant success…props to my BFF in Okinawa who bought mounds of American Candy and another team from Okinawa that brought even more. We had a great time! So fun to bless so many kids! Here’s a couple pics!
We love you all – did you notice that Megan’s picture is back on the Blog! Thanks, Clark!!